RelaksRespekRespon

There are times that you have to let go of something good just because.

There are times where you will have to crash yourself for good reasons.

There are times where you have to let everyone down and that includes you.

There are times when you have to close the golden doors.

There are times that you have to let go of something good.

The worst feeling ever.

Worse than my first heartbreak.

I've come this far BUT I'm not willing to sacrifice things just yet. You gain some and you lose some.

I've changed my mind again.

And this time for real.

'without 3R ni I believe you'll do well in the future' 

I'm sorry if I let any of you down with my decision but yeapp, that's for the best :)

Thank you Pika, Nique, Iya, Munzir, Harris, Tyha, Farah, Alieya, Along, Aunty Safiah and of course Dad. 

And thank you all. 

Buttons. Pick yours.

If only you have the ability to choose one button for just once, what will it be?

STOP?

PAUSE?

DELETE?

REWIND?

FAST FORWARD?

Some say that deleting someone from your life is a childish act.

Some say that you should stay friends with the ones that left you behind.

Some say that it is okay to be just friend with the ones that you had and might still have feelings for.

Some say that if they could turn back time, things will never turn out to be like what it is today.

Some wish to have a peek of what the future brings, so that they could ditch the wrong ones and find the right ones.

Some wish that they could pause the good times just to have the same laughter and shade the unwanted tears.

Some hope that they can have all the buttons just to smile when they should be smiling, to cry when they should be crying, to love when there is love to be had, and to have their hearts broken again and again so that the day they choose the PLAY button, all they do is 'sit back and scream YOLO'.

;)  the whattt girl. 

Dreamer

In the midst of final exam and I have a paper to sit tomorrow. Something keeps on playing in my head and I can't seem to focus on what I'm studying. Sigh. Well, went for 3R audition couple of weeks ago with Superman shirt, purple skinny, old Everlast shoe, studded bracelets, attractive red G-Shock, and favorite red shawl. Went there for fun and Alhamdulillah I was shortlisted as Top 30 :) Honestly it was very unexpected because scrolling down the Ig timeline made me realize how small I am compared to other participants (Most of them are the fashionista, hijabista and other --sta wtv) and here I am! wandering around with my most simplest and casual attire and no make up on. haha.

Submitted my resume for the next round and they're now finalizing the Top 12 3R new hosts. Well, I must say that it is going to be a dream come true but heyy! that dream was made by me only ofter Tyha shove me with Dena Bahrin Ig account saying that 3R is searching for a new host and my room mate told me that there will be 2 days audition session that is going to be held in USM itself. That was when I decided to create that dream, which is to become a TV host. loll. To think of it back, I might gain some and I might lose some.

I might have to extend my semester or wtv for internship purpose since the shooting period will be held around 26th of June until 15 of July. What will I gain should be priceless experience! Might as well I ended up in the that industry upon my graduation. BUT then again, something came across my mind and I started to doubt about what did I just do, what am I doing and if shits happen, what should I do? can I turn back time and undo all the mess?

First and foremost, I'll graduate at the age of 22 and I want to work in a professional environment. Corporate-ish environment to be exact. I've a plan for my future. I want to get my MBA before I get married. I want to become at least a COO before I reach 40. I want to travel around the world doing business.I want to become an inspiration to young girls especially because that's what they taught me in high school (Provided that TKC is the factory for female future leaders). I wanted to become a workaholic young lady with missions in life. Anddd everything seems to be all over the place once I received the mail =.=

Once again, commitment. Once I am shortlisted as one of the 12 finalists, I need to redo my future planning I assume. I honestly have no idea about what I'm doing, what am I expecting, and what I actually want. As for the time being, let's just hope for the best and see where life brings me to because I can only see my blurry vision of what will I become. hahahaha.

But on the other hand, I can say that the chance to get shortlisted is very thin. Macam orang cakap senipis kulit bawang? lollllllllllllllllll. tu kelakar. I'm happy if I'm chosen and I'll be glad to learn new things and I'll be happy too if I am not and I'll definitely get back to my comfort life with internship to settle (GOSH! =.=') and of course work harder for my dreams to come true :)

fin.

by a dreamer

" I wish I couldn't  feel, I wish I couldn't love,
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much

And I’m the only one that's trying to keep us together

When all of the signs say that I should forget you

I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had

I wish that the good outweighed the bad

Cause it’ll never be over, until you tell me it's over "