of hardships and tears of 2012 :)

hello lovely ladies and tough guys,

It's almost new year and I can hardly recall back what was my 2012 wishlist is all about as always. ermm. I think I remember some of them. I wish to have flawless face. well, that's kinda ridiculous because I myself not sure when can my pimples stop popping out from wherever it comes from T.T Next is to gain at least few kilos. well, I must say I manage to hit the target. I am now approximately 50 kg WHOAAA! that's a huge success for me and and and a friend of mine said I look tastier than before. hehe. Well, I take your words as a compliment (Y) I can hardly reach 50kg. The last time I had extra kilos was when I was 16 and yeah of course I had a very strict diet right after because I have to maintain my weight for Taekwondo purpose. Actually, I don't really have specific aims for specific year because I love surprises and I kinda want to enjoy every surprises in its own way. Plus if I put certain target in each year, I would've dying to think of any possibilities to achieve them while I can actually sit back, relax and enjoy every moment of every day in every month of the year. loll

Alright, let's grab some popcorn and starts scrolling down my 2012 memory lane;

ok HOLD ON. the memories are all over the place and I myself can hardly connect them all accordingly with the timeline but screw it.

2012 is the year where I actually see the outside world with different perspectives. I can say that it's the year of maturity. Maybe because I'm a university student now and I'm no longer mixed around with people with my age sahajaa. Older friends, no more SBP cliques, no more surrounded by my high school girlfriends. Different scenario, different drama, different people and they're all brand new to me. Well, let's put it this way. Bittersweet memories that I collect throughout my journey as a university student is more or less is kinda 'WOW' haha. and of course, each of them gave me different life lessons. What I can conclude is that, you have to always give and take in any kind of circumstances and relationships and there are times that you need to lower down your ego, put aside the age factor and listen to others' opinions as well. The world does not revolves around you ONLY just because you think that you rule the world. It involves people around you and they have that little piece of blood and flesh underneath the chest that we know as 'the heart'. The most fragile organ. Don't be selfish. take care of others' as you want others' to take care of yours. Simple ain't it? but that's the hardest thing to do I must say.

The most unforgettable event of course, my first metatarsal bone fractured during Sukan IPT. That was my worst injury everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Sebab before2 this paling teruk pun tendon or ligament or tisue koyak rabak je. or at least soft tissue injury. Bila tengok x-ray kaki sendiri balik I was like, seriously that bad? O.o the bad news is that I have to wear the cast for at least 2 weeks and I took it off after a week -.- and that causes my bone to permanently tumbuh senget because i refused to pakai cast for another 2 weeks after my 1st follow up session. God knows how hard it was and yeah, I salute all the OKU sebab diorang surely ada high self confident. It's not easy to walk around with cast and crutches while others are staring at you. The very first day I walked out of the room and exposed myself to public with my cast and crutches, I ended up crying so hard till I can barely breath because knowing that you're not as perfect as others and yeah you're the bad girl yang konon2 merempit je kerja sampai accident. With all eyes are staring at you, I must say that I'm a public figure for the whole week with my crutches and stronger arm.lolll. And with that injury, I shall bid goodbye to the only thing that I'm good at, Fighting :'(

The best part of 2012 was I've got to meet quite a number of my girls this year, Tam, Tiqss, Naa, Pika, Iya, Darte, Baie, Mardh, Thaqeeb, Ying, Lisa, Eng, Minnie, Anati, Donnie and few more that I can hardly remember. Orang tua kann. Nak buat macam mana. hehe. Thanks to weddings and open houses for gathering us all under one roof. lolll. Not to forget, great and fantastic study trip to Thailand with awesome classmates, SMNE, extreme outdoor activities with crazy friends, sister's graduation day, picnic with siblings and a lot more.There are hundreds of good things that happened this year but yes, people like me tend to take things for granted when good things happened and will only remember all the bad things. haiyoo.

So, I must greet 2013 in few more minutes with whaddup yaww!
spent my last day of the year with Ying and her bf, Faris laughing our lungs out catching up stories. well, girls. hehe. I was left with couple of cents because all the atm machines nearer broke down and everyone knows that tomorrow is a public holiday. So, lets see how am I going to survive the very first day of 2013 with no money, no  shower cream and hell, I've got finals to sit for. What do I hope for 2013 is that, bring more surprises ;P I just love 'em. No hopes, No high expectations which can lead to disappointment, No overestimating and underestimating of life, people and relationships. I just want everything to be normal and plain. Not to say that I'm planning to have a boring year ahead, but it's just that I had a roller coaster 2012 where my life, emotions and everything is always at its peak throughout the year. So, lets just sit back, relax and enjoy my 2013 :)

p/s: I malas nak letak any gambar and sorry for the boring and long post. Assalamualaikum :)(:

of love and relationship

Ola lovelies:)

well, I should be studying but I'm not really sure what's happening inside my head because I just can't seem to swallow and digest every words and every sentences that I've read. That sucks because I'm not gonna waste my time to reread the same sentences over and over again. But yeah of course, I will always have extra time to do things other than studying.loll.

I think it has been a long time since the last time I wrote about this lovey dovey thingy. but yeah, the oxytocine hormone seems to escalate at the moment and I can do nothing bout that. bak kata Daniel, 'guys di control oleh nafsu while girls di control oleh hormones'. Fair enough lah kan? u guys can easily get drool bila perempuan cantik lalu sebelah while us, can easily get drooled if we're served with good food :3 okay now I'm hungry. hahaha. 

Okay, let's go back to love. well, I see love as a very subjective topic. why? because I simply have different groups of people that I love differently. I don't love my parents the way I love my friends because my love towards my mom and dad comes together with respect that I don't really apply to my friends. but of courselah I respect my friends as well but in different context lah kan. It's funny how my dad still checking out on me more than my mum did because she simply knows that I can take care of myself well and things that I always talk about with mum is simply about my 'teen' life and 'teenager's' thing that I sometimes share with my gfs. well, I must say that my parents agak berjiwa remaja. Dad is more flexibe but all in all of course I love them both muchooo. You can't choose to be born in which family but you can always cherish every moment that you have with your family. Life is bittersweet. There will always be rough and hard times but at the end of the day, they will always be by your side. why? because they're family. AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

well, heard of platonic love? it is more likely an intense feelings for those people that we care about without the love being of a romantic nature. It's kinda like very similar to that of actual love but platonic love creates strong and powerful bonding and attachment between people which what we call them as friends:) be it guys with guys, girls with girls or even guys and girls. I must say that I'm blessed to have awesome people around me that never failed to make me laugh and cheer up my days here. But of course, the longer I live, the more I've learnt. Even in friendship, there's always good times and hard times, there's always flaws that we can't escape, there's always things that we're not satisfied about each other but hell, that's what life is all about. You can't please everyone. It's always give and take in any kind of relationships and that includes friendship. I have awesome high school girlfriends where I can be as crazy and as dirty as we always be, matrics friends that are always there everytime I need some studies advises and yeah of course my Penang friends. They're of course as crazy as they can be. That's why I said I'm blessed that I can easily blend in and it's not as hard as i think it will be for me to find people that I can fit in well here. SO, cheers fellow comrades :)

Of course, it's not complete if I didn't touch anything about love isn't it? hmmm. As complicated as it can be, I believe none of us can escape from falling in love. Well yeah, I've loved and I've lost. That wont make me less than a human. I cried, I let it out and that's it. I moved on. Don't worry if your heart hurts today because hearts change everyday. HE is the turner of hearts. Love is blind I know but we can always control ourselves from being blinded by love. Always find someone who can actually change you to be a better person. My mom once told me that be with someone that loves you rather than being with the one that you love. It's cliche but yeah, I see something behind it. Yeah, as far as I'm concern, most of you people are still searching and that includes me kot.loll. I know it's not easy and it's not something that you can get overnight because we're talking about soul mate here. As for my opinion, let's just take it easy and go with the flow. If it is not today, it can be tomorrow or the day after. If shit happens, so do love:) If Allah says it is for you, the time will come. It's written up there remember? to those who keeps on complaining bout your single life, come on girl, it's not the end of the world yet. loll. okay fine. girls and boys. hehehe.

'it takes a strong heart to love, but it takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it's been hurt'

well said isn't it?

meowmeowmeyl

Blessed :)

Assalamualaikum and Hello :)(:

Oh well, it's not I'm running out of idea on what to write but there has been so much and so many things happened that I don't know which one should I write about. hehe.

Let's start with last weekend. Everyone knows that Najib was here in USM for some 'Janji Ditepati' tour. but don't worry, I'm not gonna update anything bout that but instead, I'm gonna write about ze paintball matchzz that we had :D I'm not playing because I'm not fully recovered from SukIPT injury yet which will take around 2-6 months before I can even have my next evening run. Sobss. But yeah, I had so much fun though I was just another girl who's holding a camera to take their pictures but ended up get shot by a scumbag friend without warning when I was in the battlefield to take some nice shots. WELL PLAYED MATE =.=' there were 15 of us. 2 of them were Ali's friends while others are my classmates :) And yup, our day didn't just ended there but we had our lunch tepi pantai woii as post-paintball session. 

parajurit-parajurit negara sedang beraksi XP

US :)

post-paintball cam whoring session

The fun didn't just ended there because the same night, I had an awesome date with ze room mate :D we went to Pesta Penang. To those who didn't know what Pesta Penang is, it's kinda like bazaar with lots of shops and yeah, there are rides too. It's only open for a month every year and its kinda like a very huge event where you can get cheap stuffs and services at one place. I'm not really interested with the stuffs offered but my main purpose being there was to try all the rides. hehe. I myself can't remember when was the last time I had some extra dose of 'adrenaline rush'. haha. The rides were okay but of course you can't expect more from that kinda of place which can be classified as 'fun fair'. I tried sky rider, vortex, top gun, another one I'm not really sure what its name is but it's not as horror as top gun and vortex and we ended our date with ferris wheel :) ( Ferris wheel made me want to have a very sweet and romantic date :3) It was a bad move when we chose to ride top gun and vortex one after another. That's just sucks :3 HORROR GELL. haha. But all in all, 'twas a great experience except for I've got superb headache right after because of the armpit smell + smokers everywhere + the heat  and all the mat rempits sounds because it was just me and my pwetty woommate. loll. I bought myself a bracelet though :D I'm kinda big fan of studded bracelet. yeah, I'm not that girlish type but so what? hehe. It's not really studded but okay lahh. souvenir from Pesta Penang :) 

I failed to snap pictures for this event because it was just 2 of us and it's kinda impossible to camwhoring in the middle of the crowd. hehe

Next event was I've got a call from Athirah asking for my help to become the guest for her Sukan Kampus live talk show. Basically it's not really a show but I was just helping her to finish one of her assignments. So, this was it. It was fun at first because you won't get the chance to actually appear in someone else's production and have 3 cameras recording you and sharing your experience in sports with the audience but I ended up being a bit nervous during the first rehearsal. It went well though there few technical problems and I have to wait for a couple of hours before the real recording starts. It was fun after all because you wont get to hear 'Silent on set' 'on air in 10 secs' ' camera 1, 2, 3 ready' and 'action' everyday. Worth the experience :) Plus it's based on my personal achievement instead of things that I did with friends. In a way I'm satisfied with things that I have achieved in life, be it academically, co-curricular, leadership, and at the same time i did enjoy my life to the fullest. who wouldn't want to be me? hehe

this was taken by Along during the first rehearsal :)

brother from another mother and different father. meet my gay boy; Along. Good friend of mine :)

Yesterday was a very tiring, the most challenging and also awesome day that worth the experience day everrrr~ me and some friends we joined Kayak Expedition :D It was supposed to be 10 km but due to some reasons, we have to make it 7km instead. The weather was good but the wave was quite strong and we have to kayak like bertentangan dengan arus or ombak or wtsoever. haha. That made us stayed at the same position though we keep on rowing for countless time. One of the reasons is because most of us are beginners so, we don't really know the right technique to kayak in certain conditions or circumstances. but yeah, at least I x mabuk laut but we've got a bit dizzy due to the weather. well, it's 12 pm and not everyone can stand the 'matahari mencanak atas kepala tengah hari buta' and we're in the middle of the sea for god's sake =.= the heat was different and the I keep on swallowing the salty sea water sampai ada yang masuk mata and that sucks. Well at least, me and my kayak partner Daniel managed to lead the others to reach Pulau Tikus as it is our first check point. Kayak is no joke if you're not an outgoing type of person that can stand the heat from the sea, the weather, and of course physical strengths because right now I feel like there's something on my shoulder macam cerita hantu shutters tu. sobss. and of course I have bigger arms and stronger shoulders. lololollll

That concludes my back to back weekends :) no more having fun because finals is in two weeks time and I better ace them before I've got slaughtered by dad. hehe. Till then :)

xo, ameliameyl

Batch Spirit

Assalamualaikum and hello :)(:

Well, I've been pretty busy with stuffs these days plus brain damage where my brain can't function well due to the mellowness and not in the mood of doing anything except for having some good time with my overly attached bf (which is the bed). hahaha

Anyways, I believe that if you're from boarding school you might as well familiar with the 'batch spirit' term. Especially for those who comes from SBP and MRSM. and yeah, that's not the point. Well, SPM is over and yup these peeps are exposed with twitter after a very long period of engaging themselves with books and past year questions. Living with their batch mates for the last time before each and everyone of them are going to take different paths in life. yeah, I experienced that before. Not knowing when we will be meeting up again, when is going to be our next batch meeting, when is the next time that we will sit together and share gossips, when is going to be the next time we will have each other's attention and shoulders to cry on and yeah of course is it possible to have complete number of all the batch mates again after we leave school? 

I believe different batch have their own specialties and  strong bond among each other. Of course they have! It's 5 years friendship that  we're talking about plus we've seen each other before and after puberty. loll. and and and to watch you people grow up to become one hell of a creature that brings sugar and spice in our life is incomparable. It's something that money can't buy. Okay, that's not the point actually.

hmm. I'm sorry but it's pretty annoying when the juniors flood my TL with how they miss their batch and how strong their bonding is with their arrogant lines like my batch is the best, I'm not proud of my school but I would prefer if they know me by my batch instead of my school. well kids, if there's no school, will there be a place for you people to gather your friends and will there be another place that the bonding of the strong friendship starts? bak kata Johan, suka cakap ikut hidung, suka-suka kembang, suka-suka kuncup. haha. come on guys, the way you express yourselves and your love or bonding among your batch mates represent your maturity level. Maybe not all, but some are too obsessed with their love and wtv bonding that they have and it might as well annoys others. 

Sometimes there are things that should be left unspoken. why? because it is something that needs us to feel instead of to express. Just like Ronan Keating , You said it best when you say nothing at all. 

rubbish post by ameyl